i guess this isnt the right time i should blog, but i just want to. i start having this hatred for school, i dislike going to school, i'm scared of going to school. i'm sick of the boring lesson and daydreaming for the whole day, i'm sick of flunking everything. i'm sick of feeling so bad, feeling so low ,feeling so emo, being so sad cause i feel so wrong in class. this time i'm not making a drama out of it. i regreted not appealing to 8pc, i really did. i cant cope with the stress, the feeling of getting lowest in class even before taking the test, i've given up on myself. i rather be stuck with the pole for the next two years, well then at least i'll not be so lonely there. everyone have at least someone elses to share their problem with in their current class, well not me. i'm starting to have this feeling that if one day i ever disappear from the world, noone'll notice i'm gone. someone give me a chance again, turn back time.
i told myself again and again that i'll buck up, i'll buck up tml. i tell myself this everyday, i'm telling myself this now too. but i got nothing to work on. i excel in nothing, i'm not good at anything other than failing everything i do. i hate sec three. all the tests are drowning me in, all the result i've been getting strike me hard. but i dont think i give a damn about studying anymore. i dont care about anything anymore. i'm so high and high and high but nobody know how i feel inside. i've been starting to doubt everything. i ask myself i havent cried for long, but what am i doing now? now i tell you i'm not sad, please trust me.
i've lost faith and trust.they happened to be hardest to gain. its seems to me that i'm the only one trying desperately to get everything to work like it suppose to. but it hurts cause it show that i'm the only one who cares.
